Cyber Flirting Tips For Guys
Posted: Saturday, March 14, 2009
by Gabriela Schmid
Spacelocker
You've waited long enough, so wipe that drool off your keyboard and pay attention. Here's how . . .
1. WHAT WOMEN WANTThe same rules of conduct that apply in life apply online. What do women want? To be treated well. Respect her and you'll be a winner. Offend her, and you're out on fouls.
Although some women are up for a casual one-net stand, most really want friendship first if a Cyber-Seduction is to follow. Create a comfortable and safe place to play, and chances are she'll play. Even the most sensuous encounters grow from creating relationships. They may not be permanent, or deeply emotionally intimate, but the guidelines for good relating apply to Cyber-Love as well.
3. RECOGNIZE YOUR STAGE OF SEDUCTION
Jesse James said, "All the world's a stage, so rob it." But different rules apply for the stages of seduction.
Recognize the stage you're in:
Stage 1: Making Contact
Stage 2: Flirting and Courtship.
Stage 3: Cyber-Seduction. Success comes to those with a good sense of stage.
4. GETTING TO YES-SEDUCTION'S FIRST STAGE
Stage 1: After making contact, determine if she's even interested. Here, most women are still in the thanks-but-no-thanks mode. Before you fly off sending her direct, mushy, private messages, establish a friendly connection. Unless she really wants to play, you have no game.
Once you get the nod, establish a connection that is personal to both of you. The art of the Stage 1 is making it personal without making it too personal. Be sensitive to where her boundaries are at each stage.
5. LET THE GAMES BEGIN! SEDUCTION, STAGE 2
Good flirting is like a good game of tennis: both players return volleys. If she's not responding at your pace, SLOW DOWN. Trying to ‘ace' her at this stage in the game ends in a love-love tie: 0-0. Both players get the goose egg, and the goose gets away.
Show her you're interested in who she is, not what she is. Ask questions, and listen to her responses. Find out if she's cool with it before you start peppering her with questions about her body parts.
Open-ended questions like how do you feel about bowling? or what do you like best about the public beheadings? always work better than questions that lead to yes or no answers, unless you want conversation to grind to a halt.
Keep volleying. Always respond to her and to every comment or question. Stumped for an answer? Respond (softly). Silence is deadly. Once you start the game, keep it going.
6. LAY YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE
Be honest! If you don't look like George Clooney, why say you do? She'll find out eventually and when she does, it'll get ugly fast. She'll be very angry if you mislead her ABOUT ANYTHING. Wouldn't you? So don't.
Be truthful about your intentions. Unless you're looking for romance, don't pretend to be. If you're in other important relationships, TELL HER NOW before things heat up. Who needs hurt feelings dramas?
Then ask her the same questions. Reveal something personal FIRST. THEN ask her to do the same. Tell her how you feel. It works. She'll respect and trust your openness and honesty.
7. GET HER TO TAKE THE LEAD
As you glide through the second stage, let her initiate intimacy. Deeper levels will show you what she truly desires and will allow her to feel more in control of the situation. If she feels in charge she's less likely to fear further intensity.
If she's shy, invite her rather than leading her down the Cyber-Seduction path. Ask: Tell me about what you're wearing? not, What are you wearing?
8. STAGE THREE: SENSE SENSITIVITY?
By now you may be speaking directly about sex and sensuality. Remember, all of the above rules still apply, and more come into play.
First, her sense of choice may be different from yours. You may want her to paint pictures for you describing what she looks like, what she's wearing, and other visual descriptions.
But this may be a big yawn for her. She may want to hear words that turn her on. Or she may want to feel through descriptions of sensations. Or she may initially prefer one, and then switch as things heat up. Get to know how you both tick, and soon you'll both click.
Here's a dinner table example of how the different senses can be used in many ways:
Sight Sensation: The dinner plates fly to the floor with a single brush of my arm, as I gently lift you onto the table with my other. The look in your eyes tells me that you are mine. Your red lips part with longing . . .
Sound Sensation: I can almost hear your feline purr-I know I can't wait any longer, "You are mine," I whisper. Shoving the dinner plates to crash on the marble floor, I don't care who hears us now, "You are my most sinful dessert," I sigh . . .
Touch Sensation: I reach under the white linen tablecloth, my hand slides teasingly, slowly up your trembling thigh. You let me gently part your legs as your heat scorches . . .
Of course, you can do better than that. You'd better.
9. A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME . . .
. . . may not smell so sweet. What words does she use to her body or making love? Does she like poetic and colorful innuendo, or explicit dirty talk? One false move here can sink your cyber loveboat. Find out what she likes before you find yourself hammering the keyboard like a wild beast in heat.
Erotic and (porno) graphic are opposing styles with opposite impacts. she may respond to one but not to the other. Don't assume you know her tastes; don't assume anything-ask her. That's what separates great lovers from the others. Get good at eliciting her love-strategy in a way that is fun, provocative, and passionate.
10. LIVING NET-FANTASIES
If you've been having a steamy Cyber Love affair, how about about notching it up? Assuming you're both single and available, you may want to speak on the phone or meet in person. If you can accept any possible outcome, then pick up the phone! Get on an airplane!!!
But remember: a fantasy has no real life experience restrictions. Be honest with yourself. Are you ready to dump that cyber lovelife you control with your imagination and your keyboard? Are you ready to take a chance that the imaginary goddess you've been sweet chatting is different from a living, breathing, real woman? Real women have real needs, hopes, and dreams. Some have a moustache. Ready for reality?
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